Cynthia Buell Thomas

The Velvet Conversation

by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Monday 31st August 2015 6:05 pm (first posted Sunday 23rd August 2015 12:09 pm)

What do I want? What do I value?

What do you reject?

What matters to me? Whose opinions do I heed?

Whose do you ignore?

I no longer care what anyone thinks of me,

Or my actions.

You realize, of course, that you have fixed

The anomaly of your state:

You are trying very hard not to care;

But you do, because you know you must.

The conflict distracts me utterly.

I want to be neutral.

You gabble.

What are you fighting for, so fiercely?

Freedom!

Freedom is a chameleon goal.

You never arrive at what you think it really is.

Who would believe it, except the clear-eyed aged,

The idea of freedom in chains?

Or even more -

Freedom forges chains for its existence?

You gabble too, and puff yourself up

With your own eloquence.

However, I take your point.

End of conversation?

For the moment, yes. Thank you.

One final word.

You always have the last word!

Surely you do not think yourself unique?

No! Well - yes - maybe. Yes! Definitely!

Reconsider.

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Age 30 at the time

◄ Li Po

The Last Verse ►

Comments

James Roper

Fri 28th Aug 2015 05:33

That last line hit home. Reconsider <shot through the heart>. I have similiar conversations with myself battling my narcissism and my egotism. Well, to thine own self be true and all that jazz. You definitely know yourself.

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 27th Aug 2015 11:14

Thanks, gentlemen, for the feedback. Some people will find such a poem boring to the nth degree. I can't help how I'm wired. If I pretend I'm not like this, I'll soon sound phoney and pathetic. It's always super wonderful to find a kindred soul willing even to read the piece, let alone comment on it.

I believe Reason must supersede Passion for the sheer purpose of Survival. I also think the 'masters' of the world deliberately create and stoke 'passion' as a serious controlling technique, as, for example, the so-called Beauty Industry or Kamikazi philosophy. (Not sure of that spelling, but you know the word.)

Harry O'Neill

Wed 26th Aug 2015 13:54

Cynthia,
I was struck by the importance of differential line indentation and typographical change (including one line of emboldening) in this internal, self questioning debate with yourself.

As I was `going over` the idea of reception theory just now and particularly it`s relation to the way so much modern poetry read like significanc...ed excerpts from the novel style of literature it was of partiular interest.

I mean the way we automatically accept the question and answers of two characters as singular conversation with one self...and the help that the shape and density of
what is on the page help us to do this. (In a way we sort of `vocalise` the poem by giving it a material texture). I think the experience of novel reading helps us to recognise when this is being done.

The core of the thing is - to me - about freedom...and the
crucial word that is missing is that ``much mentioned` word choice.

Freedom means freedom to choose, and - I think - the poem has sussed out that choice can involve chains.

If I`m wrong just ignore me...but for Pete`s sake don`t bury the bloody thing :)

Steve Smith

Sun 23rd Aug 2015 20:24

Rigorous !Is one a prisoner of the other?
Steve Smith

Stu Buck

Sun 23rd Aug 2015 13:53

there is no arguing with any of this, as you have covered all forms of discussion!
freedom is a nonsense, as is uniqueness. i dont hold much cop with these deep philosophical themes though to be honest. we are all just trying to get along, in most cases doing the best we can. we live, we die. ignorance is bliss. so many cliches apply. its always struck me that maybe the human condition (both singularly and as a whole) is just to complicated and varied to adequately describe it. the more people try to explain it, the more people force their views. usually that ends in death. this is extremely thought provoking and i love the way its written. i both sympathise and scoff at both protagonists. im sure the more deep and learned people on here will have plenty to say, but I stopped worrying years ago. ironically, now i am thirty (the same age as you when you wrote this) i am at my least bothered. the human condition is flawed. i enjoy elements of life so i try to surround myself with those elements. people who bookmark themselves into a mindset are, in my opinion, narrow minded.
cynthia, this is clearly a clever piece, as i have written loads of tripe. i hope someone has better answers for you. i enjoyed this.

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 23rd Aug 2015 12:18

A re-post from years ago, and written many years ago. But one that may resonate with our young writers on WOL today. Irony is - what, exactly, has changed? I'm still pondering the same questions. If this work finds no response, I'll jettison it from the public, and keep it just for myself.

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