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Their Story

 They say the devil will allow you to sell your soul,
But your life is the promised toll,
Their father took that price,
Since that day he was cold as ice,
For the two girls he wasn't a good father,
He had laid hands on the girls,
and their own mother,
The two girls were marked with dark spots,
But nobody cared enough to call the cops,
As the girls grew older,
Their father grew colder,
Their mother tried to fight in court,
But it had taken twelve years to sort,
He was nothing but a drunk,
Who had always stunk,
Soon he was arrested,
Two girl's minds were finally rested,
For years these two girls were put through pain,
But strength and much more had been gained,
They have been through more than people will really have thought,
But happiness is all they sought,
The devil plays many games,
When he's done nothing is ever the same,
They say the devil will allow you to sell your soul,
But your life is the promised toll.

Happy Ending ►

Comments

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Vanna

Fri 19th Jun 2015 05:23

Thank you :)

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gavin purnell

Tue 16th Jun 2015 16:09

You write alot like me I think. Im knew here so you might get to see some of my work soon.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Wed 10th Jun 2015 14:38

I think you have a good poem in here Vanna although personally I'm not a big fan of this type of rhyming. For me it gives the poem a very plodding feel when read. Perhaps try mixing things up a bit as in soul / price / toll / ice or even find ways to scatter the rhymes within the lines rather than at the ends.
Also watch for unnecessary repeats as in the 'two girls' about two thirds through. I'd ditch the second and make it 'for years they were put through pain'.
Looking forward to reading some more of your work. x

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