TITLE.
I’d rather be a coward
than a liar, I suppose.
Then I might console myself
by thinking, well,
at least she knows.
I could play the lover
and she’d think her love secure;
but I cannot pretend I haven’t
fucked it up before.
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Comments
Travis,
My temptation to experiment by turning this into two couplets would have involved making it sound too pat.
Somehow - maybe because of that `cannot` and also that
`haven`t` - it sounds colloquially right...(as though it might fit into play in verse).
If this sounds daft its just my mind wondering.
I meant the diction, you know, the play on 'fucked up' (which maybe you didn't intend - but - oh well - I have only the words to go on, not the background.)
Travis Brow
Fri 29th May 2015 12:11
I wish it were, Cynthia.
Ha ha - very funny.
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Travis Brow
Thu 4th Jun 2015 07:31
I Didn't mean to seem huffy Cynthia, I realise context is key, and often lacking.
It doesn't sound daft Harry; I like the way you test a poem, as though it needs to be able to stand on it's own two feet (or however many feet it happens to have).
Thank you both.