How to tell a joke

-Advice given to a Lady-

PREAMBLE- Know your audience Know your subject

PREPARATION: WRITE out your joke in full,

read it aloud many times.

REMOVE all diversions, inconsequential and trivial.

CHECK for confused references.

ENSURE you have a command

of the required terminology.

DO Laugh at other people's jokes

before attempting your own (this is called 'seeding')

Get the round in before attempting your joke.

Try not to get out of your depth.

AVOID sporting, scientific or technical references-

limit your choice to sex and fashion.

Political issues may only result in your being confused.

DO Laugh at other people's jokes

before attempting your own (this is called 'seeding')

Get another round in before telling your joke.

DO not sweat.

Practice brevity

Remove 25% of what's left

Remain calm

Remember to blink

EVENT- Style is everything: delivery is more so -

PRACTICE eye contact.

AVOID staring continually at the same person.

DO not wear checked shirts, dungarees or men's boots

DO not mumble

DO not rush delivery

LEARN to lower your vocal pitch

REMEMBER to breathe

DO not show signs of fear

Practice brevity Remove 25% of what's left.

Remain calm.

Ask a chap about posture.

Ask a chap for advice.

Ask a chap for his approval.

Try to relax

AVOID tearing-up beer-mats.

DO not fidget.

DO not under ANY circumstances:

cough

burp

stammer

pass wind

or giggle hysterically.

Turn OFF your mobile 'phone.

Try NOT to look nervous.

POST SHOW-

Do not apologize for your effort

Do not cry

Do not under ANY circumstances

attempt an encore.

 

re-edit

words and foto

Tommy Carroll