My Journey

 

As a growing person

Instead of doing a lot of a few things,

I did a little of a lot of things

 

I had that great ability carrying-on

Well into my late teens

To venture out and travel the world

Knowing my journey lay ahead

In such incredible fashion

 

I then learned just how cruel

Of a society we have;

Watched in dismay as the filth,

The distain, manifested upon my face

The result of our pollution and putrid genetics

 

Upon losing everyone

That has ever been close to me

I continued to spiral into resentment

 

I had no skill or trade

To fall back on

Nor did I have anyone to care for me

Or show interest on my behalf

 

Instead, I ceased to grow socially

Began an indeterminable length of quarantine

As I tried to cure my skin disorder

 

As I came to learn

No such “cure” existed

I discovered that

Only a moderate, healthy lifestyle

Could eventually help

Overcome the worst of the physical effects

 

The fact became undeniable

That this plague was unavoidable

That I would have faced such anguish

And heartbreak, no matter where,

Or with whom, I was

 

Years passed as I withered from the happy,

Confident child I once was;

Turned into a cynical, suicidal

Social flunk

 

The physical scars remain

But the mental effects

Surpassed any a human being

Should be subjected to

 

Pain without really feeling it

Hopelessness beyond my once,

Infinite imagination

And far more that will never be expressed through words

 

But at the close of each evening

Before sleep seduces me

The unknown life of tomorrow

That harbors somewhere within it,

Love, truth, and possibility

Calls forth my merits and will-

As pulverized as they may be-

And tries me like

An edgy, omnipresent judge

Ever-aware

And never there to find

Like the most master magicians;

Skilled predator, and subtlest prankster

Keeping me un-flattered and unsatisfied

Has been the theme of his predation

To be as un-cocky, un-pretentious,

And morbidly unconfident

As I have become,

I can only wonder if I wanted this result all along-

However unconventional the process may have been.

 

2008-7/2/2010  Jake Vincent Belmont