Life can be cruel, bad things happen to us all,

But do not worry, you are safe with me,

You are my woman, and I am your man,

I will stand by you, you just see.

So if in the middle of the night,

We both witnessed a fright,

Which resulted, in our home, being broken into,

I would tell the intruders, just what to do.

Without thinking, without warning,

Without concern, of my welfare,

I would voice my opinion, to these thugs,

Without fear, without despair.

You can have all the money,

You can take my wife too,

But please, leave me alone.

You can boil the kids bunny,

Steal the wife’s Nissan Sunny,

But please, leave me alone.

Look over there mate, behind the chair,

Where our teenage son keeps his stash.

When you have finished there, check the sideboard draw,

Where my wife keeps all of her cash.

You can have that and more,

If you leave me alone, this house is abound with treasure.

I can’t stand it anymore, I have suffered for years,

Shagging my secretary, has been my only pleasure.

So help yourselves, to what you want,

This family has bleed me, dry to the bone.

And when you have done here,

I will show you where the mother-in-law lives,

But please, leave me alone.