I’d like to be a cannonball:

Smash through things and knock down walls

I’d leave a trail of destruction in my wake

Before it’s even time to take a tea break.

 

I’d like to drink fifteen pints of lager

And ride through the shopping centre like a knight on a charger

Smashing things merrily as I go

Making a mess with a creamy gateaux

 

I’d like to swear loudly in a quiet bar

And drive like a maniac in a bright red car

I’d go the wrong way down a one way street

And for a quiet guy like me that’d be something of a treat

 

I’d like to smash windows and cause havoc

Make a lot of noise and start a panic

Then I’d slip on my shoulders my cloak of invisibility

And disappear from the scene, with due humility