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Comfort in patterns

Three poems written about coping with living from the perspective of my 24 year old son who has Down syndrome





I am trapped inside a message

Inside a message inside my head

I don't know how this happened

But it did because it has

People who don't understand

Just look the other way

My friends who are like me

Just accept me for who I am.


My family who I love, just

Love me as I am, but I know

I make them sad sometimes

When I keep repeating words

And questions as if I do not

Understand, but I know what

I am doing, because it makes

Me feel so comfortable.


I will keep trying to be

More like them so those

Loops that go round

Inside my head, will

Change eventually, and

I will be more like you

Although I don’t know

If that is good or bad.


It really makes me stressed

When I simply cannot be

Who I want to be, but I found

The way I can best relax

Is when I listen to my music

In tiny little pieces by playing

Half my favourite bar over

Many many times.


This sometimes breaks

My iPod, but it doesn't

Really matter because

Since I stopped washing

Them - I have quite a few

Which I swop and swop

Sometimes they are silver

Sometimes they are black.







I have Uptown Girl on my DVD,

And Friends on the floor,

I am moving to the music,

And rocking to the beat.


I have training centre every day,

And I am working very hard,

I know that I am growing up,

Everyone tells me so.


I am at Bayside Gym each week,

And have won a lot of medals,

I got them at gymnastics events,

In Dublin , Belfast and Milan.


I go to movies every Saturday,

And eat in Eddie Rocket’s,

I like my dad to come along,

And share my coke and popcorn.


I love my mum and dad a lot,

And brothers John & Steve,

I know they are so proud of me,

Everything I do and am.


I pour my milk into a glass,

And cook waffles for a snack,

I hope you like this little note,

And that’s all I have to say.






My life is full of choices I do not want to make,

If they came a little slower, I wouldn’t feel so bad,

But I sometimes feel I’m drowning, when they

Come from every angle, so I really cannot breathe.


My life is full of tricks, that I use to help me cope,

My favourite is my iPod, of which I have a few,

I listen to my music loud, so nothing can intrude,

I just repeat a favourite bar, a hundred times

Or more, it’s like a drug to me because, I need

It all the time, sometimes I forget and bring

It in my bath, which makes the man at Apple

A very happy man, because I need, a new one

Every time, the price I think is small because,

It protects me from all those choices, which

Would simply make me sad, and I can make

The ones I want to make, exactly when I wish.


My life is full of choices I do not want to make,

 So I suppose the iPod washing is because, it

Really is my tap, to let some choices in, and stop

The drowning feeling, which too many choices bring.



Down syndromelivingchoices

◄ Slow motion

Love Life ►


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Sun 27th Oct 2013 04:43

Your son and I have a lot in common, for I too like to play my favorite bits of trax over and over again. I like to play techno or drum and bass, but sometimes I play classical music too when the neighbors have tired of me. Tell your son he is as normal as me, and i was once normal enough to be a soldier.

Fantastic words, fantastic insight into someone that many do not know a lot about. He sounds quite a kind chap, brave too. And obviously with these words, full of love to give.

Tell him an old soldier has a smile on his face because of his words, and pass on my love too.


<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 20th Oct 2013 19:25

'listen to my music in tiny little pieces'

very moving words,
and sums up albeit only part of the daily struggle
your son has to endure.

Please relay our thanks to him wholeheartedly
for these three poems that do a great job of showing how very brave people like him are.

Lots of love to him from us.

Patricia and Stefan.xx

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