Three poems written about coping with living from the perspective of my 24 year old son who has Down syndrome

 

     TRAPPED

 

 

I am trapped inside a message

Inside a message inside my head

I don't know how this happened

But it did because it has

People who don't understand

Just look the other way

My friends who are like me

Just accept me for who I am.

 

My family who I love, just

Love me as I am, but I know

I make them sad sometimes

When I keep repeating words

And questions as if I do not

Understand, but I know what

I am doing, because it makes

Me feel so comfortable.

 

I will keep trying to be

More like them so those

Loops that go round

Inside my head, will

Change eventually, and

I will be more like you

Although I don’t know

If that is good or bad.

 

It really makes me stressed

When I simply cannot be

Who I want to be, but I found

The way I can best relax

Is when I listen to my music

In tiny little pieces by playing

Half my favourite bar over

Many many times.

 

This sometimes breaks

My iPod, but it doesn't

Really matter because

Since I stopped washing

Them - I have quite a few

Which I swop and swop

Sometimes they are silver

Sometimes they are black.

 

 

 

LIVING

 

 

I have Uptown Girl on my DVD,

And Friends on the floor,

I am moving to the music,

And rocking to the beat.

 

I have training centre every day,

And I am working very hard,

I know that I am growing up,

Everyone tells me so.

 

I am at Bayside Gym each week,

And have won a lot of medals,

I got them at gymnastics events,

In Dublin , Belfast and Milan.

 

I go to movies every Saturday,

And eat in Eddie Rocket’s,

I like my dad to come along,

And share my coke and popcorn.

 

I love my mum and dad a lot,

And brothers John & Steve,

I know they are so proud of me,

Everything I do and am.

 

I pour my milk into a glass,

And cook waffles for a snack,

I hope you like this little note,

And that’s all I have to say.

 

 

CHOICES

 

 

My life is full of choices I do not want to make,

If they came a little slower, I wouldn’t feel so bad,

But I sometimes feel I’m drowning, when they

Come from every angle, so I really cannot breathe.

 

My life is full of tricks, that I use to help me cope,

My favourite is my iPod, of which I have a few,

I listen to my music loud, so nothing can intrude,

I just repeat a favourite bar, a hundred times

Or more, it’s like a drug to me because, I need

It all the time, sometimes I forget and bring

It in my bath, which makes the man at Apple

A very happy man, because I need, a new one

Every time, the price I think is small because,

It protects me from all those choices, which

Would simply make me sad, and I can make

The ones I want to make, exactly when I wish.

 

My life is full of choices I do not want to make,

 So I suppose the iPod washing is because, it

Really is my tap, to let some choices in, and stop

The drowning feeling, which too many choices bring.