Us Nolimpics

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Us Nolimpics


We wuz  avin a  Nolmpics

Me bruvver Burt an’ me

Cos mum ad gorra strop on

An we cudden wotch no TV.

Well ah didden mean no arm

She didden need ter get so shirty

Ah only put our Rex in t’washer

Cos ee got hissen so dirty.


An, anyow, Burt didn’t mean ter

Break the green’ouse glass

But ees not reet good at football

An ee missed me left foot pass.

So dad ad took us football

An sent us up ter bed

An we didden av no supper

Cept some watter an dry bread.


We wuz gunna race us beetles,

Av swimming races wiv us rats,

Get Rex’s fleas fer t’long jump

An do discus wiv dad’s ‘at.


But Burt ad gorra poster

Wi’ a Nolimpic torch an flames

An we thowt that we cud mek one

Fer uz own  Nolimpic games.


So we rolled an old newspaper

Round mum’s stripy, yellow socks

An lit it wi dad’s lighter

But it got too bloomin ‘ot!

Our Burt cudden old it

Ee dropped it on is chair

An t’flames lept up an burned is ands

An then they singed me ’air.


We legged it down ter kitchen

An mum got proper mad

She yelled “get reet back upstairs now

Or I’ll av ter fetch thi dad”


We wuz avin a Nolimpics

Me an me bruvver Burt

We didden mean ter burn the ‘ous.

Or mum an dad get hurt.


Yvonne Brunton 13/ 07/ 2012


WOL Olympic Competition

◄ 100 metres

It's not the flame that counts...It's the fire in our hearts ►


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Tommy Carroll

Tue 7th Aug 2012 14:04

School playing fields: 21 sell-offs have been approved by coalition
• Michael Gove agreed sales despite pledge to protect pitches
• Pressure builds on coalition to rethink sports strategy

<Deleted User> (10508)

Tue 31st Jul 2012 13:28

sa gudden an no mistake

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Mon 30th Jul 2012 14:08

Superb. Really glad I clicked on the Olympics tag to see this gem. Totally loved the dialect, great work.

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Dave Carr

Wed 25th Jul 2012 20:56


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Sun 22nd Jul 2012 22:28

I love this - you are brilliant with the Lancashire dialect and it makes it so funny. I'll have to get my sister to read it - she'd love it - has written plenty in this vein. I think you must be a strong contender again with this :)

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Harry O'Neill

Thu 19th Jul 2012 13:55

As a struggler to transcript readable scouse, this one`s got my admiration.

Surely it`s in for the the olympics comp?

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sat 14th Jul 2012 17:19

ps. thu pikky's grand uz well.xx

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sat 14th Jul 2012 17:18

t'hars nuther gudden Lass-
reet nice tis'n'all!!

Love frum mesen n 'er.xx

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