5 Blue Mule


both bare cruel grill fumes

airing on the clench

he him spent every penny on a promise

take back matter of tick tock

textbook traits of tit for tat

standstranded pursehat stopcornered 

in rags for discards, rollys

when allsudden speakheaded to them

bowler hat man prospects illegal approaches

"You'd fit a kilo in that leg"

(words move but no lip chatters)

yes on both sides

profithappy fear of going back

but no plan now

succeeds without

heavy pockets.

◄ 4 Monk Discussion

6 Sweet Hallucine On The Dink Dark River ►


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Laura Taylor

Tue 28th Feb 2012 13:03

(words move but no lip chatters) - excellent line.

standstranded pursehat stopcornered - this, however, felt...clumsy is the wrong word...bulky, I think. Nowt wrong with bulky, but maybe if it alludes to a certain thing/person/situation it would work better?

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