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I’m one of the boys; I’m one of them who lives in my southern English town of Witches’ Elbow.

We just love it in our quaint little town by the sea, we chill out on the beach on the long summer nights, drinking warm beer and making love on the sand dunes knowing these moments will last forever.

I’m originally from the north and moved to Witches’ Elbow coz I got a job in the harbour unloading the fishing boats three years ago.

It’s steady work and I’ve got my mates down there that I share a beer with down in the town in the many pubs and clubs.

We often argue and fight, you see I’m not a southern pussy but a northern monkey who likes his beer and a good rook when I’m challenged and the other guy wont back down.

There’s one brothel in town called Anne’s Armpit, we go there once a month to get laid, we love the gals coz we get a discount and new gals are coming all the time from eastern Europe, they cum slowly with me coz I’m a real man.

My town has a tattooist called Ernie’s place he does the best bit of ink on the south coast and no one comes close. He did my dragon on my arm and “WOW” on my arse when I’d had too many bears, my mates paid for that after a drunken bet.

When I drop my jeans it’s a real party piece, the gals love it, they ask what’s on the front? I say come here and I’ll show you.

Often we go up to the forest on the hill just above town to walk through the trees on a Sunday afternoon, we go and smoke some marijuana to chill and to relax after a hard week on the docks.

Local cops don’t like it coz it’s an illegal drug but I say fuck the cops coz I don’t do no crime, I’m a hard working bloke who just wants some fun and to be left alone.

On a Wednesday night I like to go to the Ragged Bear pub to see a live band, who cares if they’re any good? I just like the vibe and live music and strong beer.

One night in the pub I saw a group of men from the local car factory, they was arguing and the mood was down; I asked what’s up, they replied their factory will shut and they’ll be on the dole unemployed.

Bang, two hundred jobs down the drain. I guess no one wants to buy their cars anymore.

Myself, I’m happy working unloading fishing boats and taking the fish to the market, a hard but rewarding job even though I start at 5am before the sun is up.

I can go home and have a sleep and then go to the pub for a beer to ease my aching body after a hard days graft.

Witches’ Elbow has a long pier jutting out into the sea, half a mile long full of arcades with slot machines and space invaders, local teenagers hang out there acting hard, new couples in love walk the length and stare out to sea lost in each others world.

I like to drink at the Pier End Bar right at the end of the pier taking in the sound of the sae and dreaming of what if?

Once a month there is a Goth/heavy metal night at the small club down by the coast road, I like to go coz the music reminds of my time back north before I moved down to start my new life.

I still go back north to see my folks and my old mates; I never did have a gal there not anyone to love, maybe that’s why I moved and got a new life.

I like the history of my southern town from an old castle built during the Napoleonic wars armed with old cannons protecting the harbour to being bombed by Nazi hit and run warplanes in the last war.

Their aint no war now just the raucous of the weekend when the boys hit the town. We chase the women and eat their pussy and fight amongst one another after ten pints of strong warm beer.

We argue who was the witch of this small town? My mate says it’s his mother especially when she catches him in bed with his first cousin! Just wait till they both find out about me and her, wont that be funny!

Life goes on in the small southern English town of Witches’ Elbow, I never will move back north, yeah I miss Manchester but I just love this small seaside town.



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