I was walking over the heathland to Caesar's Camp

as part of my 10,000 steps (I'd reached 3,263) when

I looked at the clouds and saw what looked like a lamp

igniting the sky with its glory. It hovered silently

beneath the crest of a hill from where, on a clear day,

you could see London's Eye and fire breathing towers.

I followed the lamp (that was about the size of a mansion

with all the lights polished and turned on) until I was stuck in

a foul smelling mist that carpeted the shrubby terrain

and saw in front of me a grotesque creature with a head

like the Ace of Spades and its face was a window

from which two pale blue beams shone strait ahead.

The creature moved towards me then changed direction

turning towards that glowing lamp half-way down the hill.

I ran away after deciding against any closer inspection.

A week later two “journalists” interviewed me in person

and told me I had seen a meteor and an owl. Not an alien,

or, as they jokingly added, Madonna or Terry Wogan.