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Narci

 

“If I dyed my hair red,” She cooed,

“The sun would be jealous,

and dip her fingers into herself.”

He felt the swish of her hair

as she crouched to stroke the lake;

a smudge of strawberry on his cheek.

 

She grated the moon’s reflection with her hands

and sighed,

“see how pale my arm is in the night”

and bit her hands together like a dove.

“Sometimes, my eyes hurt with blue”  then,

 and she took herself in, in him.

 

He looked at her and saw a garland on her head;

 the men that stayed there

drew hardly any breath on the thorns.

◄ The Burnt Bee

The Wreckers ►

Comments

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Anthony Emmerson

Sat 2nd Apr 2011 12:24

Hi Marianne,

I always feel as if I've strayed into another realm when reading your work. You have not only a unique way of seeing things, but also a very creative way of recording your thoughts. "Through a glass darkly . . . "

Regards,
A.E.

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Isobel

Fri 1st Apr 2011 08:39

I agree with Cynthia and all - you should never post a poem like this on 11th hour. I only do that with things I don't mind sliding into obscurity.

I found the 'then, and she took herself in, in him' and odd combination of words but I loved everything else. The image of the hands like a dove, the grating of the moon, the jealous sun, the crown of male thorns - all wonderfully refreshing imagery. And - what's more - I could understand it! You'll hate me for saying this but a poem has to do that for it to ring my bell.

Brilliant stuff. x

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Rachel Bond

Fri 1st Apr 2011 02:26

i love this marianne...'the sun would be jealous and dip her fingers into herself' could repost the whole thing here for examples of beautiful poetry

narcissus in the lake a favourite myth of mine.

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Elaine Booth

Thu 31st Mar 2011 22:30

Very much enjoyed your poem, Marianne. Love the use of colour. I also really liked: "bit her hands together like a dove" - wonderful contrast.

Philipos

Thu 31st Mar 2011 21:35

Lovely poem Marianne and I agree with previous comments x

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 31st Mar 2011 20:38

Fabulous. Every word and image is a jewel - breath-taking diction and mood. The final stanza is wonderful.

PLEASE REPOST IT TOMORROW FOR THE WEEKEND. IT WILL JUST DISAPPEAR AT MIDNIGHT! MARCH 31, YES?

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Ann Foxglove

Thu 31st Mar 2011 17:50

Lovely lovely poem Marianne!

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