ros/e
on the pavement
a plastic cup
of new year's eve wine
fills
with new year's day
rain
ros/e
Comments
A case of the cup being either half empty or half full then!! (But maybe poetry is supposed to be grim?) xx
To me it had none of those positive meanings Ann , just deliciously grim. Win X
Ta for comments folks. I did see a plastic cup of red wine slowly filling up with rain when I went to the village on new year's day morning. I wish I could have got the word "pink" in there somewhere - it did look very pretty! I think the message could be read in a more positive way. The red alcohol being replaced by the fresh Cornish rain, turning it to something purer and clearer maybe? Or someone's new year resolution to give up the demon drink perhaps? I think I might prefer the wine tho!
<Deleted User> (8943)
Wed 5th Jan 2011 16:00
Hello Ann, for me this poem symbolizes the almost anticlimactic feel of new year's day, the festivities now over...
Just read your poems on your profile and enjoyed the images you painted in the third piece; the seal's head, the seaweed and mussels, the windows - I can almost smell the scene. x
Also loved the 'diluting' title but would work better if there was a little more red in the plastic cup. Win
This is superb Ann.
Together with my breaking paper chains one we have the perfect miserable festive season! LOL Seriously it is a great poem. Can it be sharpenned still further perhaps?
on the pavement
a plastic cup
of new year's wine Refills
with Winter rain
Is that any better? Hmm. Don't think you need new year's EVE as new year wine is only drunk at this time. could in the gutter replace on the pavement? (Too cliche I feel)Thats the think with these short poems, one small change makes a big impact. Win X
<Deleted User> (7164)
Wed 5th Jan 2011 12:48
I think this is the shortest poem i've ever read of yours Ann but i enjoyed it, thanks.x
Damn these english keyboards! ;-)
If you wish to post a comment you must login.
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Thu 6th Jan 2011 11:07
This is really good, Ann. It is an astute observation, made into a symbol, and the effect of symbols is entirely related to the viewer's/reader's predilection of mood and temperament.
Winston is grim today, not poetry. He is enjoying himself or he wouldn't be there.