ros/e

entry picture

 

on the pavement

a plastic cup

of new year's eve wine

fills

with new year's day

rain

ros/e

◄ motherfuckinfox

smoke and mirrors ►

Comments

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 6th Jan 2011 11:07

This is really good, Ann. It is an astute observation, made into a symbol, and the effect of symbols is entirely related to the viewer's/reader's predilection of mood and temperament.

Winston is grim today, not poetry. He is enjoying himself or he wouldn't be there.

Profile image

Ann Foxglove

Wed 5th Jan 2011 19:36

A case of the cup being either half empty or half full then!! (But maybe poetry is supposed to be grim?) xx

Profile image

winston plowes

Wed 5th Jan 2011 19:34

To me it had none of those positive meanings Ann , just deliciously grim. Win X

Profile image

Ann Foxglove

Wed 5th Jan 2011 18:50

Ta for comments folks. I did see a plastic cup of red wine slowly filling up with rain when I went to the village on new year's day morning. I wish I could have got the word "pink" in there somewhere - it did look very pretty! I think the message could be read in a more positive way. The red alcohol being replaced by the fresh Cornish rain, turning it to something purer and clearer maybe? Or someone's new year resolution to give up the demon drink perhaps? I think I might prefer the wine tho!

Profile image

Petrova Fairhurst

Wed 5th Jan 2011 16:00

Hello Ann, for me this poem symbolizes the almost anticlimactic feel of new year's day, the festivities now over...

Just read your poems on your profile and enjoyed the images you painted in the third piece; the seal's head, the seaweed and mussels, the windows - I can almost smell the scene. x

Profile image

winston plowes

Wed 5th Jan 2011 15:50

Also loved the 'diluting' title but would work better if there was a little more red in the plastic cup. Win

Profile image

winston plowes

Wed 5th Jan 2011 15:47

This is superb Ann.

Together with my breaking paper chains one we have the perfect miserable festive season! LOL Seriously it is a great poem. Can it be sharpenned still further perhaps?

on the pavement
a plastic cup
of new year's wine Refills
with Winter rain

Is that any better? Hmm. Don't think you need new year's EVE as new year wine is only drunk at this time. could in the gutter replace on the pavement? (Too cliche I feel)Thats the think with these short poems, one small change makes a big impact. Win X

Janet Ramsden

Wed 5th Jan 2011 12:48

I think this is the shortest poem i've ever read of yours Ann but i enjoyed it, thanks.x

Profile image

Ann Foxglove

Wed 5th Jan 2011 09:47

Damn these english keyboards! ;-)

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message