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The Plain Girl

This was a little exercise at one of the workshops at the Hebden Bridge Poetry weekend. I think it was in Winston's packed workshop. Looking through my notes, there are one or two bits that i like, so i thought I would share this.

The Plain Girl

 I raise a glass to the plain girl,

She who lives all her life in the shadow of night;

Who is like an oyster hiding a pearl;

May she climb the mountain and reach the light.

 

I raise another to the beautiful girl,

She who stars in her life like a blinding light.

As the mountain’s shadow falls she looks in her glass

And sees plainly the gathering of night.

 

(The exercise was to use the same five words in two stanzas:  

Plain, shadow, mountain, light, glass.)

workshop poetry

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Comments

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Barbi Touron

Sat 18th Feb 2012 21:35

Truly beautiful, Thank you

<Deleted User> (6315)

Mon 6th Dec 2010 08:05

hello there Freda..I did like your compact write and agree with what Isobel says..I also rather like the old say beauty is in the eye of the beholder because then we can hedge our bets!!..

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 30th Nov 2010 20:08

I remember the same exercise, searched all over for the resultant poem, but must have lost it. Maybe it was Steve Waling's 'Experimental Poetry', Freda.

This poem is really good. It would be great to 'fight' for a line to give another rhyme with 'girl' in the second stanza.

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winston plowes

Mon 29th Nov 2010 22:08

yes, I liked this one Freda, great to see some of your new work. (It was not from my workshop though lol) see you Wed. XX

<Deleted User> (6895)

Mon 29th Nov 2010 20:40

Hi Freda-very compact poem-one suggestion,second line I think would suit the 'plain girl'-"she-hides-her life in the shadow of night", to continue the hiding?

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Isobel

Mon 29th Nov 2010 19:10

Really love this Freda. It kind of reminds me of that song 'I learned the truth at 17, that love belongs to beauty queens...'.
Perhaps it is better to mature into beauty than start off with it. As your poem highlights, it is a long fall from the top of a mountain - much easier to cope with loss of beauty if you've never really had it as such. This is such a thoughtful poem - beautifully expressed.

<Deleted User> (7164)

Mon 29th Nov 2010 17:16

This is neat Freda. Really enjoyed the contrast between plain and beautiful. Reminds me of the saying 'don't hide your light under a bushell.' :-)

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