Tunisian Holiday

The girl danced the hokey cokey
Before smoking a fag
She obviously wanted
The best of both worlds

2004 Pieces.

The world is now almost silent.
Text message on my phone?
Without nuance or expression
It’s hard to lower the tone

Emoticons - I con emote
I used one Valentine’s Day ‘95
It’s difficult when you’re emoting in a new language
I can’t thrive without talk of jive

The world will soon be silent
Media, machinery makes all the noise
The streets are all now all filled with cars
Where girls and boys neighbours annoyed

Often in the social spaces
It’s seems that they’re designed
To be used by people
Who don’t have communication in mind

Loud noise in pubs and clubs
Can mean image is almost all
Rappers battle and people meet on the net
Deathly, still in the urban sprawl

Trying to communicate naturally
You can become perplexed
This isn’t a holy book but
“I am become a text”

Right

Do you come here often?
I know you're clean 16
Do you come here often?
Are you hip with the scene?
Do you come here often?
I know mad Barrys with a sheen
Do you come here often?
We fishy like Pacific sardine
Do you come here often?
Can I nick some nicotine?
Do you come here often?
Can you see a smoke machine?
Do you come here often?
Give that girl a tangerine
Do you come here often?
Do you wanna live a dream?
Do you come here often?
I like the light when you beam
Do you come here often?
Are you hip to my scheme?
Do you come here often?
You light the wood when you beam
Do you come here often?
Do you wanna form a team?
Do you come here often?
I don’t like them custard creams
Do you come here often?
I tell the truth if djartamean?
Do you come here often?
I’m deviating from the mean
Do you come here often?
I could start to like routine
Do you come here often...

Scaling Ayers Rocks (2004)

Blood diamonds dripping from my neck and wrist
It’s hard to see thru your frosted ice, snow and mist
She’s showing off her rock like it means something
It could be a cola ringpull or a piece of string
“Eternity rings are for when you get eterned” -
That’s a lesson in love that have learned
De Beers marketing man set in stone - it’s true
That I work for 2 months to say with metal and stones I love you

Rockist

I’m ever so tired of this too boring rock
A vessel of shit commonly known as a crock
Accountants change into Johnny Thunders in the toilets at 5 o’clock
You n' Jagger weren’t born in a crossfire hurricane so stop
Your music redefines writers block
The only pop hit I’ll give you is with my poetical Glock
Musical thoughts and movements like a nervous tic toc
I would like to see your tribute banned
The King of Rock's throne into landfill
Monster of Rock from the depths of the Loch
Your cheeking in tongues amuses the flock
You’re so turtley (sic) mock I have to mock and sublimate my strop
You ain’t struttin’ like Tyler struttin’ like Jagger
More like a slaughtered turkey cock
Known by MDiVvy girls from Wakefield to Bangkok
You’re so predictable it’s always a profound shock
Trying to fly away from a very dry dock
Strangle a Strangler soundalookaalike deforming my ears like Spock
Hoxton and Shoreditch the new cultural Eastern bloc

Cretan

My oracle Jonathan Cainer's usually feelgood horoscope 

Putting me in fear of my life on one day

Lost in the labyrinth of Malia's shanty town strip

Watch the girl kickstart her scooter in heels

The bar covered in flames

Getting my hand crushed by the female Minotaur

(Part man, part bull, and all monster)

At around breakfast time at the 24 hours bar

Friends disappering out in the sea

Down the road from the death shrine 

Walking among the ruins of ruins 

And us wasted Brits on the piss returning via Iraklion 

Visiting the nursery of a dead God - the father of Gods and men

Eagles circling in the sky

Eating a McDonalds on our first night out

To warm ourselves up for some Bronze Age Minoan high culture