The restaurant was busy, but during their meal

the woman suddenly screamed and just

stabbed her guy in the eye with her fork.

The crowd went mad all hooting and babbling.

We pissed ourselves laughing at it all,

all this new madness, and my girl asked me,

‘So, what do you think he said to her?’

‘Well,’ I replied, ‘if I had to guess, I would say

that he just told her that he wants to make it

as a writer, and that he’s going to quit his job

and move back in with his parents or live

on the streets, and that he’s bordering on

alcoholism or drug abuse, and that he’s

finishing with her because he doesn’t

love her anymore, because words

are all that matter to him now.’

‘How can you tell that?’ she asked.

‘Well,’ I began, ‘I’ve got

something to tell you.’