Oh I wish I could pee like I used to.

Not standing for ages like this.

There's more in my life that I would do,

Than wait here all day for a piss.

 

The fountains of youth have now faded.

Strong jets have dropped to a drip.

Now my prostate has strangled my willie,

It really does get on my pip.

 

Sound sleep is a fond distant place now.

Along with a night on the beer.

A small shandy an hour before bedtime,

And I spend half the night standing here.

 

I spoke to the doctor about it.

He said he could cut it right out.

But then the wee dribble might be all the time,

And a hard on would be in some doubt.

 

So I left it, and stand here for hours,

Reflecting on life and its boons.

I sip on some milk as I do it,

And dream of young girls with big boobs.