Mi dear mam on’ dad, aw’ve summat ter tell thi,

(Yeah, aw know, th'art up theer, wi t'big mon on high),

It’s just uz aw’ve bin a prize pillock sometimes,

On' a selfish sod, aye many’s the time,

But theer’s wun thing in which aw con truly tek pride,

Uz aw didn’t give these morally bankrupt scrotes,

These basterd scumbags on’ hypocrites,

This festerin' genocidal shower o' shit,

Mi precious, ‘ard won and ‘ard fought for vote.

P.S, aw’ve stopped gooin’t'comyunion,

cos docter’s towd mi ter stay away frum th’alter wine.