Mi dear mam on’ dad, aw’ve summat ter tell thi,

(Yeah, aw know, thart up theer, wi the big mon on high),

It’s just though aw’ve been a prize pillock sometimes,

Aye, and a selfish sod, many’s the time,

But theer’s wun thing in which I con truly tek pride,

Uz aw didn’t give these morally bankrupt scrotes,

These basterd scumbags on’ hypocrites,

This festerin' genocidal shower o' shit,

Mi precious, ‘ard won and ‘ard fought for vote.

P.S, aw’ve stopped gooin’t'comyunion,

cos docter’s towd mi ter stay away frum th’alter wine.