She is with us one on one

        she says you should find a lover who looks at you like you are magic

                          we have done that

                                         Thrilling to be looked at like that, dazzling, senses cajoling

 

But then you have looked away

I am enough now to accept you have looked & gone off elsewhere

 

But our master Northman said there is not a cure for love yet you have found one

           Unless

                  You have not

           Unless

somehow                   I have not

           Unless

                                                                             It was never love

 

But today

early today

   A miraculous thing happened to me

                   when I was looking for something else,

                                                      just like a blessing my old born of today lover wished for me

                                                                 I found the part where I taught you to stand tall

I had forgotten

lost it

thought I had deleted it in fear in caution in stealth

 

but there it was

                and it was so lovely, a tender night opening gift

 

I was afraid later I was ugly or old or stupid or silly or inane or gushing or fawning or desperate or pathetic

      I searched for such a reason as you might abandon me for it happened right after this
 

But I was lovely

  very in love, 

              adoring, sweet, wise, peaceful

                                            just pure bright love shining through eyes, voice, manner

How could you not have loved me so back then? The songs, all the songs, the tenderness in each song, made sense again 

                            because the love it was truly so pure, so real, magic, so firework producing

We truly were deeply smitten with one another with a great chance of a sweetly jangling                                        entangling future, both of us

                                                                               until you followed a harp player up some stairs

                                   Yeah it hurt me

                                                    Yeah it’s fair that I am hurt

 

You are asking Proteus to stay with Silvia for a life and leave Julia to return home with naught but a ring for all her trouble, would Julia go on to settle for some farmer? No no she would not

She would love, honor her heart

       And perhaps write            how angry and betrayed she felt, how unfair it seems, how she had him first and by rights

                        he should be given back

                                            loyal Julia would have created her warm home anyway, for

by rights this beautiful home I have created surrounded by walking trails, where I grow greenery; feed winged ones; smell the ocean on my balcony

By rights this should be your home, by rights I have picked a place of happiness, 

                                                                caught up in ours

                     It is only alone mine, 

                                yet I am not lonely here, yearn but it’s not unhappy 

                                                    sure feels like love, still

because we know what they are dreaming about, these days are deep blue, and yes, that was a full moon, it doesn’t mean we won’t always be, and the breakers might speak for a mere mortal if the mortal was mine as was meant to be, meant to be caught up with thine

 

What does the heart say and

                                      are you writing it down? What is your deepest will?