Well

   I didn't fall off the wagon, exactly, rather

I fell off a mighty freight train! Of course I kicked up a racket, I was falling! Fast!

 

Alright then, he-man

        I will open the gate now, yes, ok then, I see now, in bright corner sunlight

     better to see for sure see, always better, truth will always out, might as well bow before it.

 

Discarded dreams littering my pillow where I thought we'd have whispered long, black of night low tone deep discussions on oh such endlessness

                                                     let me then, in honor of un whispered pillow talk not to be,

                                                                        answer some points:

 

Alchemy has it's benefits, I'll have you know, there are many many paths to the single one meant for you; each one individually made, speaking loudly to one ear ... if only we choose to hear

Wherever your bliss lies

                                            is the one right path to god.

Where you go when you find yourself where time loses all power; that's where the light comes in.              Go there as much as possible.

Might be words or music or stage or art -- you are creativity personified, the contrarian who picks a challenge & always defies status quo, a mirror or match who chose instead to walk in another patch

Troubling to walk away from palpable, pulsating calling energy, shadow isn't assuming; I am certain.

        You

are not. Or, you were or

                                 perhaps

                                                  I don't pretend to know

 

 

Noted -- I am peaceful again, got my balance back, walking quietly in nature I remember all

No longer acceptable to walk alone, it is amazingly tremendous learning, needed for the shedding.      Phoenix squandered out by a kaleidoscopic tear relished the weight lifted from carrying that water, his heart never was breaking, I carried out the decree of the king who remains the golden good father,

just as I planned. And ate it. My only despair as I prepare for forgiveness of the future, a costly gift

Yet the peace that finds me here, in the aftermath, by the ocean, no person leading,

                                                                                                           perplexing in its enormity

 

 

 

Too far ahead, dancing circles, my wrinkly sunburnt grin is not your true mirror

                                  We shine the same; know warm dirt dreaming, some would say habitual

Look in youth

               play in fertility

                          nourish a hearth, with purring cats and happy curtains

Think deeply about true love, first love, & how the hero hurts in his lust quest, whose cyclone survives, read verses from a different scripture, one perhaps which does not scream

Be happy, think of me, again and then, splashing about in my statistics-decrying last decade or two, dreamily dancing in deadly untrue dreams, cherishing an old idea made up, fire too hot for the worn nor the bruised, discarding damaged delusions of the very very young

We fear to keep it but it was not stolen, no indeed, never was, true heart has honor, even bereft

                                    It was given freely without request, never stopped, slowed or left

for me. 

               It was, clearly, different for you.

                          

I open the gate, turn and get back on the train to elsewhere, the wild wind calls and calls me on