my tongue is tied

my mouth is sewn shut

my arms in a straitjacket

my eyes gouged out yet, still wanting to blink

 

to see / i want to see / i have to see / i need to fucking see

 

with all the blood and flesh of my own mangled around me

i broke my arms out

my bones protruding and bleeding black hot blood

i pierced my mouth open,

my black blood, teeth and flesh flushed out 

 

i do not speak yet, i scream

my tongue moves out of its binds

piercing me inside out 

and i scream and howl in pain

it hurts

it hurts

it hurts so much....

 

but i leaped across the room to the mirror

that damned, rugged, ugly and atrocious mirror

 

and i saw a person whom i do not recognize

the person smiled with malice

full of hatred, evil and disdain

her eyes leaked venom

her mouth opens and hot black blood flows out of her mouth

 

she then whispered,

"my turn."

 

i look on helplessly as she destroyed whom and what i love

i begged and begged an begged

"please, stop it"

 

she smiled that rotten, filthy and malevolent smile

 

i banged my hands on the mirror

again

and again..

 

shards stuck on me-

on my face, my body, my limbs and my heart

 

she didnt want to go

she wants to stay

 

and at the end...perhaps i will let her

and that will be the day i slit my throar

and bleed red blood

as i choke to death

 

and then, that woman will linger on my loved one's minds and memories

forgetting me, falling into oblivion

 

and all that i am

all that i was

what i wanted to be - becomes forgotten and gone

 

perhaps, it's fine

perhaps, i'm alright

perhaps, on to the next life

 

i will be reborn as me

just me and me alone

 

without the darkness, hatred and emptiness

just me, me and me alone