Souls blacken to a dark rich roasted darkness

                              When angrily decrying love where love exists, 

Convincingly preaching to my words how I don’t love 

                                        While every reader-poet quietly knows, I, in fact, do

 

If I detest a man, it will not ache so to yearn for him, bitterness hurts much less than heartache

 

          It just …

      It just takes such energy to lie

                                                    I am not skilled that way

Pretend! Announce! Declare! Redirect! Destroy! Deny! Explain! Convince! Dance in epiphanies! Ignore

           It’s exhausting

Searching for true forgiveness

              I will never of course find it in anger, find it with anger, it does not hang out in that crowd,

only I keep falling right back into it again and again

Although the crashing waves speak so loudly and persistently of an ancient knowing, acceptance, eternal

 

So

 

I forgive you for picking another to lie with while I was right in front of you

I forgive me for picking you

                And not some other to lie with for you are right in front of me still

I pick and my perception is also my choice, no one else's

                                                                                                            I choose

I have bypassed        -- conquered--            If you will

All the many sharp proofs I had to be angry, i pick them to lie down with, instead, to pet, to forgive, soften

I have created every velvety angle of such a beautiful life, with bright new faces,

                                   witnessing my unabashed laughter, partner-less

    I clean off my blackened soul, admit to rarity

Unique deliciousness, a combination that intertwined and meshed to explosions, fireworks

       in one another, not seen for many a long lonely ion, they write tales about

                         Such unions, such overwhelming want

Must be expressed through art; light; joy; secret life, no other choice, energy too cataclysmic, redirected

 

As if

You opened me right up and scooped out the best of my hidden inner me, 

       Served it up in a beautiful sparkling cut glass bowl

            Sweetly, gently mixed up with yours

                   Drizzled with good, ripe, aged, clever laughter

                       sprinkled with desire, romance, passion, poetry

                             rooted in deep fellowship, friendship, similarity

                                                                                                      Oh we were exquisite, yes indeed

 

I wonder

         You think you can wander in 

                                                     Later on

                                                                     After

To feast on deliciousness

                                                                    Youth makes you unaware as you feed boldly

These are but fleeting tastes

                            Can turn rancid quickly

                                                               Left out unattended in such heat

Only now are we perfectly ripe, 

                                                                              Or; we were, once