Some decisions:
seemingly reasonable, rational,
seek to wipe out
sentimentality, romance
as if we lived by rules
more fools we if we do.

Time
leads me back to a field
in high summer
in Cheshire -
a piece of the rich south
here in the north - 
the roads are far enough away
today
to lead us to a silence:
provisional, yes
passing, of course,
but still silence
we shared a look, a moment
when he stared at me,
as if deciding
something momentous,
I glanced away from this man
my friend I'd known for so many years
so much laughter, so many tears.
I didn't know then,
not until quite recently,
that he'd tried
twice before
to commit suicide
to end his life. 
nor did I know
that this time
he knew
he would succeed
and he was saying goodbye.

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