I found Jesus in 1970

in between Southern Comfort and acid.

I followed Him all the way to Wembley

with a girl I’d studied in Bible classes.

 

We heard Billy Graham preach the gospel

of Chosen People in the Promised Lands.

Linda, said Billy, be very watchful

Ray’s hands don’t stray inside your bra and pants.

 

Beware of Buddha, Mohammed, yoga -

he promoted Christ as an exclusive brand

that must be acquired before the closure.

Then he prayed for Nixon in Vietnam.

 

 I marched off the pitch when the fans all knelt

and never discovered how Linda felt.