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The Walking Wounded

This very heart that is mine will forever remain undefinable to me

To express such a thing resembles water slipping through my fingers,

Forever you will remain a stranger to my true soul;

Were you to trace the entire relief of my heart with your finger, you still, would not know me anymore

I am a stranger to myself and to the world

You embody the essential passion of a man’s desire between the urge towards unity and the clear vision of the walls which are enclosing him

The world cannot offer anything to the man filled with anguish and you seek your way amidst these ruins

The paradox of peace and pain, pirouettes followed by a cry from the heart are the absurd spirit grappling with a reality beyond its comprehension

The experience of absurdity, the confrontation of the irrational with the wild longing for clarity whose call echoes in the human heart

That odd state of the soul in which the void becomes eloquent

In which the chain of daily gestures is broken, in which the heart vainly seeks the link that will connect it again

Time carries us, but a moment always comes when we have to carry it

So long as the mind keeps silent in the motionless world of its hopes

Everything is reflected and arranged in the unity of its nostalgia;

With its first move, this world cracks and tumbles

An infinite number of shimmering fragments is offered to the understanding

We must despair of ever reconstructing the familiar, calm surface which would give us peace of heart

I know I exist, but not who I am

The more we crave for security, the more insecure we become

This is the paradoxical absurdity we call reality

Just as there are days when

Under the familiar face of a woman

We see her now as a stranger we had loved months ago

Perhaps we shall even come to desire what suddenly leaves us so alone

Likewise, the stranger who at certain times comes to meet us in the mirror

The familiar yet alarming brother we encounter in our own photographs

Also becomes the absurd now

There is hope, but not for us

I do understand, and it is terrible

I miss you deeply, unfathomably, senselessly

I was with you, yet I was always alone

Yet despite your body being away from me

There is always a window open from my heart to yours

And as you will soon discover

Hell is the truth, recognised too late

Whether I wait for you for the rest of my life

Or if I end up with someone else

I fear I will always feel alone

I fear I will always be waiting for you

As you lose a part of yourself when you lose someone you love so deeply

I am like a book consisting of two volumes, but one has gone missing

Maybe it wasn’t something important to you, but it was my heart

I have become a victim of my own feelings

I crave for someone who was never mine

While the peace I need resides only in them

Perhaps suffering is my only constant now

My last act of love, was letting you go, the love of my life

So that you may one day find yours

The woman in me let you go, but the animal in me was howling and tearing at my skin from within

As iron sharpens the nail, so one person sharpens another

Cold, hard and sharp is how you have left me

We may never be the same, but you will always be the One

I think we feel it most at night because at the end of the day, our hearts yearn to be home, and our homes are not always where we rest our heads

It is as if the memories have a heart which only beats at night

Loving you was never a mistake, despite all my doubts

I will try and change myself for you because you deserve better

I don’t have the heart to see you with anyone else

Which is why I had no choice but to cut you off completely

While I become better for you, someone you would have been proud to know

If loving you means going to war with the heavens

I would fight every angel between us until God approved

Remember, my love, you are not what you have done

You are what you keep doing

It is not fair to blame you

I kept pouring myself into your palms, even as I watched all that I was leak through your fingers

As reason is powerless in the expressions of love

Love is the beacon which leads me back to you

You don’t criticise the moon for not shining the same way every night

Because the moon doesn’t have to be full to be loved

And neither do you, my angel

To love someone means to see them as God intended

You deserve to celebrate not only who you have become, but who you could have become and fought not to be

I know the weight you carry behind your smile

I see your fight while the world sees your strength

I see the battles you fight in silence

You are more than the darkness you have walked through

You have courage in your heart you need not keep pushing away

The façade you wear for the world

Masks a warrior who knows that imperfection is perfection

That strength is accountability

You are the only one who can stop the cycle

No greater desire exists than a wounded person's need for another wound

Please tell me I was not anything to you, as your words suggested

For you were always my everything

How sad is it to face the future without the one you planned it with

Your absence will haunt me forever

And I miss you more than the desert misses the rain

The real goodbye is the one that happens slowly, over time and wordlessly

There is no “I’ll see you again”

There are no plans

You stop checking up on each other, and eventually, you go back to being strangers

Come back to my soul, do not waste time with the cold-hearted

They do not value you or see your worth

Why do you seek raindrops, when you had the entire ocean?



◄ Karma's Consequence

Timeless Torment ►


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