i feel a pit in my stomach

right where my ribs meet

a hole that can’t be filled

 

i numb my head with podcasts

my hands with crafts 

and my heart with my love for you

 

i tell you 

              I FEEL A HOLE IN MY SOUL

              I THINK IT’S CAPITALISM 

you remind me that i have you

and our love for eachother

 

this hole isn’t where my suicidal thoughts live

i haven’t found where they live yet

they’re well hidden 

and come out of nowhere 

 

this hole is less scary

a yearning for something more

something meaningful