Anti-sonnet 1
(Music: "Reprise" - Marcelo Zarvos, Peter Vronsky)
No, I do not feel you close
nor do I think I should
a hope not there to be, for hope abounded always
in knowledge that felt almost fatelike
a hope for you
a you I’ll meet the right time
a you I’ll meet and feel like I knew that moment
since I imagined it too many times
in all its possible dimensions
of being just a lie
one that I told myself to sleep alone another night
and say goodbyes, some early, some too late
for you
you
a pieced-together sonnet of illusions
true – beautiful
but beautiful in its groundlessness
beautiful in its dreamlike lure of a perfection vaguely known
you that nothingness appeared facelike
a hope lost
given up
for I knew too early the pain of loved missed
and did not want to imprison
your hopes for perfection
so let's not meet
but just dream
and look for each other in every smile and eye we see
or imagine
and if it's you
just pass it over
don’t imprison me to my own hope
'cause I sold you
to you