I got the driving back to Malton,

On the endless A64 blues!

I can’t listen to the radio,

I don’t want to hear the news!

All the dire warnings

And all the tedious queues!

I got the driving back to Malton,

On the endless A64 blues!

 

Stuck behind some tractors,

And a mobile port-a-loo,

I’ve missed yet another meeting,

This is a right fine how-do-do! 

I got the driving back to Malton,

On the endless A64 blues!

 

Don’t blame me for my road rage,

Cos there’s no end in sight.

It’s a caravanners’ convention,

And they block me, just for spite.

 

I’m biting down my fingernails,

Watching all the grass as it grows

Counting cars into the distance,

With their drivers all a-picking their nose!

 

We need some money to improve this,

To fund a new lane or two!

But we’re all stuck here in gridlock,

Cos it’s all gone on HS2!

                  

Come to Yorkshire for our                          scenery!

Come on, take in all the views!

I got the driving back to Malton,

On the enervating,

Nauseating,

Tedious,

Exhausting,

A64 blues.