there must be something significant about a dirty bedroom that smells nice

 

people say to manifest 

your dreams with the map

of a poster board and magazine 

clippings of houses and things

like cliche quotes and shit

 

i dream of the number of ways

to kill myself

 

my grandfather killed himself a week ago on a thursday

 

maybe they’ll say

if he had a dream board 

he’d be here

 

my dream board has kurt cobaine 

amy winehouse elliot smith 

 

i should add pictures 

of rope pills guns belts 

cords toasters poison bed sheets

shoe string heroine cocaine alcohol

razors anything sharp

for that matter anything

a psych ward wouldn’t let me have

 

the rain stopped

but at least my room smells nice