cycles do not exist in one part

no one can simply revolve around themselves

meaning is found in relationship,

for what could 1 be without 2?

 

I am a brother

I am somebody’s son

I am a friend

I am a mind of my own

I am a man of God’s creation

 

You cannot shrivel away, and find yourself

for if you do not stretch the limits of self,

how are you to know where you end, and someone else begins?

 

What is life without friends?

And yet I cling so tightly to the desires of my flesh

I scare myself from ever trying

My mind churns over itself,

an endless repetition,

a never ceasing calculation,

of how everyone could possibly respond

to the news

That a desire for death has ever lingered over me.

That the thing I shy away from most,

Is what gives me purpose.

 

Do you expect me to try and stumble my way through now?

The 21 year old, loner, awkward, man?

Who uses conversation and physical affection to pull him

from the endless abyss of his own mind?

Sounds like a misunderstanding just waiting to happen to me.

 

To be continued,

Maybe…

 

If I have the brain power for it.