Did you think I was a Bogoff

Or a rechargeable battery?

I can’t imagine for one moment

You believed there was more

Than one of me

 

Or did I get it wrong?

You thought you’d get a snide

A pretend version for free

 

It slowly filtered through

That you thought you could

Replace the one and only me

With a Black Friday deal

Or a Discount Tuesday

Meal

 

Has it hit your thick head yet

That I am for real

There is only one of me

I am the original Gucci bag

I surprised you with my arrogance

What a drag that must have been

 

You had your chance

To wear couture

But you chose to rip it up

Ripping fabric piece by piece

Til it unraveled at the seams

And now you have the audacity

To say you feel you have

Been fleeced

 

You want to put me

On again

And strut yourself round town

You’d like to wear me

As your accessory

To impress your flashy friends

 

I’m afraid, my love

You had your chance

But this is where it ends

I’m not your Bogoff

Or your friend

So you can just

F’’k Off