The past never leaves

You may, if you are lucky

Feel the joy

Of reprieve

 

But, the past

Never leaves

It waits

In the shadows

Silently

 

I am waiting

Now

For the past

To find me

 

The past

Never leaves

It hovers

On the outskirts

Of your reality

 

I don’t know

If I have

Invited

The past

To follow me

 

I thought

I was clever

Imagining

I could out run

The things

That haunted me

 

I wonder if

I am

Ready

For my past

To catch up with me

 

It’s not that

I am guilty

Of any crime

The guilt

Is most certainly

Not mine

 

The past

That I have run

From

Is cloaked

In someone

Else’s shame

 

I have simply

Asked

For

The records

Of my time

 

Records

Have been kept

Safely

Under lock and key

 

Answers

To the questions

I’ve imagined

Answers

That may

Just set me free

 

The past

I thought I’d run

From

Has always

Haunted me

 

I think it’s best

To have the answers

Even if they cause me pain

Because not knowing

The answers

To my questions

Just leaves

My heart

In pain

 

Is it better

To know the answers

Or to carry on

In ignorance?

 

I think the answer

To that question

Lies in my

Inability

To live life

As I’m meant to

Free from

A million

What ifs

 

I think the

Truth

Has more value

Than a zillion

Little lies

 

When the truth

Casts off the

Shadows

Of other people’s

Guilt

 

Maybe then

I will be able

to walk

Into the light

I believe

I have been

Fighting

Someone else’s

Fight.

 

C.K. 22