don’t make me look at the past

i just can’t

i prefer to be in the future

when i’m no longer here

 

i once tried to relax

it was a disaster

so i keep myself busy

documenting these frustrations

 

of course i think of you

too much

mixed with the porn

i just bought

 

reliving the scenes again

where I let you win

 

everything is tenuous

everything has a doubt

 

i’ve come to live with it

it’s how i love myself