It was Barry’s idea, so

he only has himself to blame.

For all the thrill of orbital flight,

of seeing the Earth from space,

those journeys are so damn boring.

 

I admit to sneaking the ball in,

and that Barry was winding me up.

The running commentary didn’t help,

calling me Gareth Southgate,

him being Andreas Köpke.

 

No one could have predicted

the ball would hit the airlock button,

just when Barry was leaping up,

trying to stop my rocket blast,

straight to the top left corner.

 

Perhaps he’ll be a hero yet,

get a glove to an asteroid

hurtling towards the Earth.

The slightest of deflections,

nudging it over the bar.