Is it fair to not feel normal? 
After 18 years of living sanely?
Am I the one responsible for all this?
Is it here to settle in me?
Is it here to make me fall?
These days it is keeping me awake 
At 3 am, I am feeling restless 
These days I feel like giving up more
Three pairs of eyes stop me though
The feeling is something I have never felt
It is not beautiful 
It is selfish, not wanting to let me go 
The more I push it out of me,
The more stubborn it becomes,
making me breathe shallow
Therefore, I am welcoming its stay
Maybe one day, 
It might feel sorry for me
Sorry for making me struggle 
It might grow a heart of gold
And finally, leave me alone