The Stone I Own

Friday 16th July 2010 6:39 pm

She Drilled a hole through it
A faux diamond 8 mm bit
Couldn’t afford the real thing
Passed the noose
Made a pendant
To hide an empty heart
Like a millstone
When it calls to a well,
Or water
The cloth sack to take the kittens,
Back to heaven,
It weighs me down.
I wish on it.
But the pebble just dashed the hope
And I hung on a threadbare rope
Of your return
Fumble its significance.
Like an oyster would the grit,
Or the snarl of the mares cold bit,
Held back emotion and lies
It weighs me down
In this pendant
Contained the soul of me
All concentrated and eider
Its pumice and its grey
Rubs the v neck down
this apple of my throat
a reminder of a man
Anxiously sometimes
You may see my fingers there
And a thousand mile stare
As I daydream
Merely a passenger in life
Touching the stone I own

Comments

clarissa mckone

Tue 31st Aug 2010 01:50

I think its great as it is

Chris Dawson

Mon 19th Jul 2010 09:35

I agree with Cynthia, it's a fantastic poem and I don't think the lack of punctuation causes anything to be lacking in either meaning or imagery.
I, too, like the references to weight and there's a hardness to the imagery that is really clever - for that reason I don't like 'eider' ... everything else seems to be hard or rough, whether a thing of beauty - like the pearl, or coarse - like the rope. Eider stood out to me, or maybe that's the point?
Love the last 2 lines especially, but less keen on the use of the last line as a title - I think I'd have just called it Stone.
Very good poem though Pete.
Hope you are well - not spoken in ages!
Cx

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 17th Jul 2010 16:54

Pete, I think this is fabulous. Your images are simple and weighted with meaning; diction is particular for sound, visual effect and significance; individual lines are like Haiku moments. If anything, I didn't think it needed punctuation at all, leaving the reader to sink or swim. The title is excellent, loaded with suggestion.

Heather

Fri 16th Jul 2010 19:52

I rather liked this and the choice of picture is excellent, it really brought the poem to life for me. I think you should perhaps write out in words the abbreviations, such as 8 mm and possibly structure it more. It's a little hard to follow in places due to the lack of punctuation and seperate stanzas. You've got a good grasp on words though, I like the references to weight and I find that your first three lines are the strongest.

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The Stone I Own

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