Pain
We dash around and do
The things we should not do,
And then enjoy our fun
To countervail the pain
Of races we have run
And will run once again.
Comments
This is short but captures so much meaning. There is a stoic determination and perseverance of numbing the discomforts of the races we have to run, but it also contains a ghost message which is that there is emotional pain also in the races we will not run once again. I like that we are dashing (or racing, if you will) in our efforts to find fun too. It has a very intriguing metre and rhyme to it too. I can't quite work out if it is a planned pattern or a natural occurrence.
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Stephen Gospage
Sat 9th Jan 2021 17:30
Dear Aviva
Many thanks for the interesting comments. The metre and rhyme pattern was (mostly) planned, although mainly by trial and error. I love the idea of the "ghost message" in understanding the poem.
Thinking about it, would the third line be better as:
'And so enjoy our fun' ?
This might be more logical, if logic is what we're looking for.
Best wishes Steve