so, a time for warm memories?

fond loved ones from the past?

Christmas 2019 one to forget

I thought it might prove my last

 

parrot strangled in trimmings

wife, shopping after a row, got

took short, skidded off the path

tree trimmed by a snow plough

 

house got burgled Christmas Eve

at which your festive spirit palls

he nicked the replacement spruce

complete with my brand new balls

 

I'd run out of my piles ointment

was too chicken to kill the turkey

so my Christmas lunch a funereal

farce, gnawing away at beef jerky

 

went on a New Year blind date

she claimed her name was Tessa

wondered about heavy bruistles

he was a Mexican cross-dresser

 

got done for possession, cocaine

Manuel had slipped in my coat

caught bird flu from my barber

his DTs nearly did for my throat

 

surely this Christmas cant be worse

despite these COVID complications

I've bought a Chinese blow-up doll

its in lieu of my usual fornications

 

made in Wuhan, top of the range

she's bouncy, I call her Miley Cyrus

whoa! Christmas got cursed again

she's gone and given me the virus!