Since she and I were no more my love light had all but faded away

There was but a speck to remind me love may call once more

A year or more elapsed; she would come with her new man

My boys had two Dad’s now, one far richer and one far poorer

Funny, the irony of those words when we said them at our wedding

The embers of my personal life; not raked, lay in loves hearth, cold

Boys in bed I sit at my desk with my lap top, images fly to my eye

My dull, dull world summed up through a seventeen inch screen

Mates told me to try these personals, who would want damaged me?

With little expectation and slight of hand I had I go, new me, presto!

I was I little boy at first raising home checking emails, success, no

Hope waned like the dark grey rain clouds washing away today’s misery

Oh I got the odd one or two and my mates tried to fix me up

Then up popped this silver rose, she was beautiful, those eyes, her smile

Why did she want this middle age old fool with her in her late twenties?

I wrote back to her, expecting another no win for Charlie boy, again

For days I daren’t peek at my emails, a kid staring at an exam paper

Got a glass of courage, sat down at my desk, PC on, took a sip, emails

Loud ‘You Got Mail ‘flashed across screen, my heart skipped a beat

There you were Sandra, a vision I had only ever dreamed existed

Each word you wrote, each picture filled a gallery in my heart

That speck of love light now grew with each email you send, each photo

I had to pinch myself as your words grew more romantic, speaking of love

This silvery blonde princess, a rose in the Garden of Eden wanting me!

She did, I realised that through our constant emails I had found true love

Eighteen again, I told my boys all about her then the rest of my family

My life became more colourful than the seven colours of the rainbow

I wanted her here with me so much; nothing was going to spoil this

Our love was magic, in my dreams we walked hand in hand, kissed

Warm imaginings in intimate moments, I reached through your pictures

Finally cupid had found his mark, together Sandra and I had our future

My ex came to the house to pick up the boys as usual, came in this time

I excitedly told her of you, that the boys were pleased she hardly smiled

“I have some bad news”, she told me as I made us a coffee, “Its cancer”

Clouds gathered as she explained her new husband had left her

She has a progressive cancer, for which there was no cure and alone

She told our children saying that she wanted to be with them till she died

As she spoke I felt the world I had built with us being crushed

How could the world who blessed me with you Sandra be ripped in two?

Images races around, I saw my love on a payment soaked by blood

I was choking, blubbering I wanted my princess, but my boys needed her

How could I not grant her, a dying woman, her wish so she has moved in?

I cannot deny my boys being with there mum for however long she lives

She stays in the spare room, but my heart has been buried in the cellar

My love, Sandra I have been forced to let you go, I HATE THIS LIFE SO MUCH

My silver rose who gave me her love, her very soul, what had my love done 

This princess of the silver screen, who had nurtured my heart to life

You had brought loves light back to me didn’t’ deserve this slap of such cruelty 

I am crying into my pillow as I have written this over the last few hours

I hope and prey you will find love in another, I will never forget you my Sandra

       

© Phil Golding March ‘08