ESSEX HAS FALLEN!
Essex has fallen,
Romford first then Chelmsford,
Dagenham dug in but was ravaged.
The spirit of malcontent came to a climax
and spilled over like the nightlife itself.
Social media has been full of it,
online casinos offering odds on the outcome.
Basildon Town hall is under siege
no police presence reported
though notable statues have been protected.
Politicians were not available for comment
except Boris, spotted at a laying on of hands ceremony
tongue tied after his scriptwriters
were too listless to rise to the challenge
as all are on wages.
He promised that the QE2 bridge would remain closed
and to be alert at all times.
Fears have been expressed
for the safety of the A12,
helicopters are gathering over Colchester
in recognition of its advantage
as a stronghold.
Tattoo parlours remain open.
Crowds with flags reading "The only way is Essex"
were seen on the marshes headed up
by George Galloway and Nigel Farage,
not just a stunt they said,
"People have simply had enough,
they're sick and tired,
Essex has fallen."