"What's with the head-patters?"
It's not normal behaviour, I'll admit.
It all looks a little OCD - a bit paranoid, perhaps.
But there's a bit of method in our madness.
You see - there's this thing called HOFS - Hair On Fire Syndrome. And it's a strange vicious git.
Without knowing it, some of us have hair which spontaneously combusts. We can be walking down the road, or sat quietly reading the paper, then suddenly - whoof - our scalps ignite.
It's quite frightening, I can tell you. There just no warning. You can't tell if you might have it. Or if person you're talking to might be next one to be panicking and burning.
It doesn't seem to matter if you worry about it, know someone with it, or even if you have hair at all. But if you're within a couple of meters of someone with it - you could well be next.
The smallest flame can slowly burn for weeks.
Sure looks painful too. Can land you in hospital or the morgue.
So, though it's not normal behaviour - you'll see me out and about only when I need to be and patting my head, dampening any potential flames. And yes, I carry a small bottle of water around with me too. Generally helps with the thirst anyway, and I can tip it over my head if I need to.
I'd rather be safe than sorry, and actually I rather hope you feel the same way.
So sad to see some not taking it seriously. I guess some need to see it first-hand to believe it. The news headlines and medical advice somehow isn't enough.
If you're one of those, then good luck to you.
But don't be offended if I don't stop to talk - send me a text and we'll have a natter that way, or over the phone or by zoom.
As for those of you who insist on carrying around petrol and cigarette lighters - stay well away from me please.
I might well be over-anxious, but I'm not going to tempt fate with this thing.
It's time to hunker down. It's going to be a long autumn and winter. Spring too might not be so easy either. But one day this thing will pass.
I'd rather be alive and know I did my bit when it does.