Courtly knights wood fair maidens

Proud steeds reared up in forests green

In stone towers Merlin weaved magic

Steel swords making sparks were seen

 

What happened to the age of chivalry?

Why is honour in the world so rare?

It seems rules are there to be broken

About values none seems to care

 

Who is meant to be in charge today?

In my view people are much too bold

I was brought up by His Grace to think

Servants should do as they are told

 

You dont need to be rich to be noble

Gentility is little but good manners

Why so much shouting and posing?

Why this plague of petty banners?

 

Society seems riven by yokels and varlets

Each vagabond voice on line can't be right

Do we need a modern type of feudalism?

Let true aristocrats exercise their might

 

Horrified, I watch a race of howling serfs

No-one seems in authority any more

Persons of pedigree must take charge

Let only their word represent the law

 

There's no substitute for blood lines

Long lineage guarantees sound blood

Only patriarchs from the top-drawer

Are sure to safeguard the public good

 

Thus I offer myself as a leader in waiting

The return of hanging is top of my agenda

The work-shy would do National Service

For illegal immigrants, return to sender

 

As one born into the caste of blue bloods

I recognise a bounder when I see one

No scroungers or riff-raff or base-born

Will survive by the time I am done

 

By now our vigilantes are on the march

Using muscle to lay down the odds

Before long we'll have the upper hand

My subaltern is recruiting firing squads

 

Let all plebeian low-lifes or ragamuffins

Fear the coat of arms on my regiments

Look for my heraldic motto on Twitter:

"You know the Establishment makes sense!"