Ricky Wilson pushed the button 
that turned his chair around.
He was surprised to see,
standing on the stage before him,
a chimpanzee 
in a tight, bright yellow dress.

He thought it unlikely 
that this could be the source 
of the beautiful rendition 
of Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien 
that he’d heard moments earlier, 
but the stage was otherwise empty, 
so it seemed this must be the case.

They’d never had a chimpanzee before.
One or two that might have been
mistaken for one, perhaps, 
but never an actual chimpanzee.

Ricky, for once, was lost for words. 
None of his fellow judges 
had pressed their buttons.
He was on his own
and stuck 
with a chimp 
in his team.

He could hear Sir Tom Jones
sniggering.