I've been laying for hours in my bed,

Ignoring texts from my so-called friends.

And I'm so sorry,

But I'm just not feeling as social anymore.

Silent battles of anxiety,

Make me feel like no one likes me.

The words I speak feel so damn fake,

And when I try to vent, I can't concentrate.

My thoughts have been traveling beyond the moon,

And I feel like I am about to

Lose my mind, all over again--

Probably for the 11th time since I was 10.

Can you blame me when I feel so scared?

I know if you read this, you'd say you care.

But I'm not sure if I'm prepared,

For people to want me when I don't even want myself.

Holy fuck, I can't stand myself.

I don't think I'm doing all that well.

I'm failing classes, no motivation.

I can't live up to these expectations.

I feel okay when I'm out there,

With the small group of people who maybe care.

But the moment I'm back all alone,

My mind starts going like a metronome.

I have not a single clue

of what it is that I'm gonna do.

But note to self:

I fucking hate you.

-wavyxlei