Original Sin
Adam and Eve had a trick up their sleeve
Being there when the world was begun
Itās a little pet peeve, which brings on a slight seethe -
They were there at the start, so they won
Some theologists say that if they had their way
Theyād get rid of original sin
But our Man of God is a little bit odd
He goes into the box with a grin
He created devotion by stirring the notion
That heās heard each confession before
And if we want him to stay, then we must find a way
To give him a little bit more
It was a bit of a shock when he said to our flock
āThat it isnāt enough to be born
And if thatās all youāve got, then Iāll leave you to rot
And I shanāt even stifle a yawnā
He wonāt hear about greed, or making things bleed
Forget about lust, wrath or pride
To get him excited, or semi-delighted
Youāve to show him you have at least tried
Iāve poked badgers with spoons for six afternoons
Chased squirrels around with a flute
Iāve hidden in trees to bottle the breeze
And ironed a turtleās shell suit
I have to confess, thereās a build up of stress
When I head to the church on a Sunday
All this having to think drives a fella to drink
But I make a fresh start every Monday
Itās a rampant obsession, this weekly confession
For the bar seems to get ever higher
But Iāve got his measure, my sins are a pleasure
And he canāt ever call me a liar
This task I canāt shirk, so I might give up work
Be focussed and not give a damn
Itās causing some strife, for Iāve buried the wife
To her knees in vat of warm jam
Alas, each time I try, he just gives me the eye
But he might know in my heart that Iām trying
For with each thing I think of, I get close to
the brink of true living before I start dying
Yes, Adam and Eve had a trick up their sleeve
When it came to original sin
But though they were first, they had it the worst -
Nude scrumping is not how to win
Written for contest https://allpoetry.com/contest/2748628-Share-the-Laughter...-Eddie-izzard-quotes-adult
Using prompt 3 - Eddie Izzardās quote āFather, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin⦠I poked a badger with a spoon.ā