And suddenly, 

the outside world is so enticing. 

Taunting. 

 

But instead, I'm going to bed 

after cutting my hair with crazy scissors 

and not brushing my teeth or washing my face.

I've tired out my body by swiping through bodies,

discarding them by swiping left on my dating app of choice. 

Tonight, they will seek phone sex with

another virtual woman

because I am replaceable. 

Tonight, I will satisfy myself alone because

the three miles of separation is insurmountable.

 

I'm still quite awake. 

My mind still wanders.

As my breaths slow, I analyze each for quality.

Fearful that I will find some deadly abnormality. 

I scroll aimlessly through videos of girls dancing in bikinis 

to distract myself. 

Even porn does not provide ample stimuli. 

I'm starting to feel like I'm empty.

I'm starting to feel like I'm just walking through an excess of time. 

Nothing sticks to time, bodies just go through it.

Trying to fill it and fit our lives into it

like a stressful game of tetris. 

Level up, bitch.