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- Rich’s new book of comedy poems, Horsetrousers (Blue Gnu Books), is available now from - A percentage from every copy of the book sold is being donated to the ME Association. Rich has ME. He was previously a semi-professional stand-up comedian and gigged on bills with Micky Flanagan, Dave Spikey, John Bishop and Jim Jeffries. His disability worsened and he was forced take a break from comedy. The Morecambe-based West End Playhouse and Spotlight Lancaster were instrumental in encouraging Rich to return to comedy in 2020 - Tony Britton, the ME Association’s Fundraising and PR Manager says - "I knew there would be belly laughs when the first email I received from Rich was headed 'I've never heard of me either!', and he's never let me down. I do recommend a dip into Horsetrousers, his second book. It puts this crazy world into proper perspective. I hope the ME Association has also helped him through the worst of times with this illness." - Rich first met Minty B, the artist who has illustrated the book, when they both worked at Waterstone’s in Bolton – they’ve gone from selling books to writing two of their own. - Rich’s online comedy show won Best Local Comedy at the Morecambe Fringe Festival in 2020. - Rich’s first book of poems, Gormless, was published by Chinbeard Books in 2020 - On 18/09/2022, Rich appeared at the Morecambe Poetry Festival, on a bill headlined by Linton Kwesi Johnson, John Cooper Clarke, and Henry Normal. Kate Fox described Rich’s set on Sunday night - “Rich is a hilarious performer and poet, very much in the classic Northern comic mould – a hint of Peter Kay, a touch of Victoria Wood and Henry Normal. Had the audience in the palm of his hand.” REVIEWS OF HORSETROUSERS “Blimey What do you expect from a collection titled ‘Horsetrousers’? Well, if you’re a follower and friend of northern poet Rich Davenport – you get exactly what you expect. Clever word play [check] exotic characters [check] absurd situations [check] surreal circumstances [check] It’s all there in all it’s gory, bodily functioned, warped glory. Some of the rhymes and internal rhymes are so cleverly done you have to read them twice to fully appreciate the way they twist into the narrative. The set-up of these poems are so expertly constructed that, at times, even if you see the punchline coming you are still overjoyed that he ‘actually said THAT’ [gasp]. Some of the tales are just outright absurdities, others hide a downbeat understanding of real life camouflaged within their anti-heroes and anti-heroines. The put-upon and the posh caricatured and laid bare in line after line of chortle and guffaws. A comedic poet at the top of his form. What else would you expect from Rich Davenport? Blimey” IAN WHITELEY, POET & MUSICIAN (BARD COMPANY), HOST OF WRITE OUT LOUD WIGAN “From the genera of testudines to forcing rhubarb, vinegar-filled spacesuits to true jazz cats, Rich Davenport’s Horsetrousers are filled with wit, wisdom and wellbeing. What more would you ever want?” PAUL NEADS, FLAPJACK PRESS "One of the very few positives I can pull from living through the Corona virus pandemic is that I discovered Zoom as a way maintain contact with the real world, especially during lockdown when, if you weren’t involved in Boris’s permanently partying Downing Street, you were utterly isolated. "Via Zoom, during 2020 and 2021, I discovered a world of performance poetry in which I met a host of extraordinary characters I’d failed to find in the pre-Covid world. "Foremost among these amazing people was Rich Davenport who taught me how to hang onto the sanity of laughter despite spiralling daily deaths. This extraordinary man is a full-force fount of furious funniness. His wild word-world is at once both down-to-earth and utterly surreal. He blends John Betjeman with Stanley Holloway, Geoffrey Chaucer with Joyce Grenfell, William Shakespeare with Max Miller. The man is a marvellous medley of all of these and more. He’s rude, crude and an utter joy. "Don't just read this bloody brilliant book, seek him out on YouTube, go to his gigs, worship in the universal front room of his spellbinding voice. here are precious few unpretentious geniuses in this world. They’re the people who slice clean through pomposity and preciousness. Let’s cherish them. They’re Lenny Bruce, Dave Allen, John Cooper Clarke, Tom Lehrer and - luckily for you - the person whose book you’re now holding. He’s the amazing Rich Davenport. Devour this book as if it was the last great meal of your life… which is precisely what it may prove to be." NICK TOCZEK - POET, AUTHOR. “Funny.” – Hovis Presley, describing Rich’s comedy to Badly Drawn Boy’s sister (long story). “Rich Davenport is a brilliant comedian. Genuinely bringing something different to the table and is always a big hit with audiences”. - Lee Martin, Director, Gag Reflex Comedy Agency “Rich Davenport is a terrific performer whose enthusiasm and innate likability shine through. He also has a pleasingly madcap eye on the world and a gift for taking apparently innocuous words - like poultice - and making them extremely funny.” – Toby Hadoke, Comedian, host with the most at XS Malarkey, Manchester Rich Davenport is a comedy poet, stand-up comedian and musician from exotic Bolton, in the UK. Inspired by Spike Milligan, Ogden Nash, Billy Connolly, John Cooper-Clarke, Robin Williams, Benjamin Zephanaiah, Victoria Wood, Lenny Henry, and by his friend and fellow Boltonian, the late Hovis Presley, Rich has gigged all over the UK, spreading mirth and making loud noises. No, he’s never heard of him either. Rich was described in one review as a “no-nonsense Northerner,” which is ridiculous, because nonsense is his business, and business is good. Rich was first encouraged to compile a book of his poems of extreme gormlessness by Hovis Presley. Winner - Best Local Comedy, Morecambe Fringe Festival 2020


The Ballad of BLOODY NORA Nasty notions nag within the noggin of old nit nurse Nora After fifty years of scalp surveillance, she could stand no more Her sanity was slowly stolen by insomnia (her husband was a snorer) Criminally insane would be the best description for her For decades, the kids’ nit discomfort really got her goat, But now the goat’s been sacrificed - she’s flipped and slit its throat She doesn’t blame the children, gives discreet shampoo, no shame, It’s crystal clear in Nora’s eyes - The parents are to blame With meat cleaver in hand, she now begins her killing spree “You filthy gits have all got nits as far as I can see!” See her bulging egg-eyed glare, she’s deadly as a rabid stoat Nora’s nit cure is simple – cuts your hair off at the throat Her rampage knows no limits as she tears across the nation Septuagenarian serial killer seeks to spread decapitation From town to town she travels, in her mobile home, a tourer She’s still at large, pray you don’t face the blade of Bloody Nora! Young Elvis In the early days of his career, young Elvis Was given the nickname “Elvis the Pelvis” Because of how he moved his hips on stage, not out of meanness I bet he was relieved his parents didn’t name him “Enos” Pantalones De Amor (Trousers of Love) Imagine Antonio Banderas reading this to you In my wardrobe they swing From a hanger above Pantalones de Amor The Trousers of Love They are made of black velvet With diamonds down the seam I must wear them with earplugs Cos the ladies all scream My erogenous Trousers Fill them with delight They are flared at the bottom 'Round the buttocks they're tight So tight are my Trousers That when ladies greet me They ask "Are those castanets in your pocket, Or are you just pleased to meet me?" I am chased down the street In these lady arousers But their love's not for me It is just for the Trousers Hypnotised and bewitched By the diamonds that gleam They claw at them wildly And pull at the seams I can't run fast enough So I have to be smarter I'm afraid if they catch me They'll beat my pinata! With the power of Trousers Comes responsibility And the ladies 'round here... They run faster than me! So they hang now in mothballs I wear them no more Dangerous Love Trousers... Pantalones de Amor


Gormless - Chinbeard Books 2020 Horsetrousers - Blue Gnu Books - 2022

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.

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Rich Davenport

Mon 14th Oct 2013 14:37

Thanks Ann! :)

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 13th Oct 2013 10:30

Hi Rich - welcome to WOL!

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Rich Davenport

Sat 28th Sep 2013 22:14

Thanks for reading! Glad you liked it! :)

<Deleted User> (11485)

Sat 28th Sep 2013 21:45

Young Elvis. :)

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