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Gerard McKeown

Updated: Wed, 26 Oct 2016 09:38 pm


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2016 shortlisted for Over The Edge New Writer of the Year. 2015 highly commended in The Moth Short Story Competition. 2011 featured in The Irish Pages’ Up and Coming Writers showcase. 2007 Ulster Performance Poetry Champion. 2007 All-Ireland Performance Poetry Champion (runner-up) Has supported John Cooper Clark, Frank Sidebottom, and Stewart Home. Has been published in magzines such as 3:AM, Litro, The Moth, Citizen 32, Fuselit and The Honest Ulsterman. Email: gerard[at]gerardmckeown[dot]co[dot]uk


Farmer Sometimes I want to become a farmer. Not because my ancestors were farmers And I'm supposed to have it in my blood, Nor is it because I've lived on a farm And the experience inspired me. I don't want to be the sort of farmer That Heaney talks about in his poems, A farmer that is at one with the land And farms not as their job but as their life. I want to be a farmer like Burroughs. I would wait out my boredom on my farm Keep busy with hard work and earn money And when I leave I would leave my boredom Lying battered in the soil behind me With a snapped shovel bloody beside it. As Appeared in Fire Issue 26 Your Bathroom an Apology I am sorry For the night In your house When you Were smug And rude To me, And I left Your room And went To your bathroom, Where I Did rip Your toilet From the floor With a giggle And surprising ease, And then set it Back in place With a dislocated downpipe. And I'm sorry That when You use it And try To flush it It will Come back To haunt you When the toilet Spills its dirty secret All over your bathroom floor And wipes the smug smile From your face Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. As Appeared in Black Mountain Review Issue 10

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Gerard McKeown

Thu 18th Nov 2010 23:40

Thanks for saying. Your stuff is pretty fantastic too. Keep it up.

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Tomás Ó Cárthaigh

Wed 17th Mar 2010 23:52

Hello fellow Irish poet...

<Deleted User> (5163)

Mon 30th Jun 2008 00:50

You are fantastic.
I just thought I had to say :).
Not that it means so much but well, you are. Supporting Cooper Clarke makes you fantastic-er of course :)

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