to have it be only for me

beating for me with chanting echoes

sneaking in under every familiar smell

your clothes are stained with wine

grotesquely clinging to your teeth

holy holy snow

and awful filthy wine

the gray dust of shoestrings

before you     twisting wraithes

threaten to peel you apart

flying back to their caves

would you once loo...

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pleas

pleas all around

and let there be

     please     and more please

we just want to breathe

     and forget

we can't even move

     we are haunted

we know you didn't want to

that little town

was so small

     it barely held us

know     this is not by chance

     you made pies

     you dressed like a boy

     you sm...

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is it because of the art

sleeping bags out on the lawn

cancer and rot and golden flowers

pillows for people

you hold all the secrets

we lay down next to you

to tell you how precious

you slept in your car and you went crazy

shooting beams of light from your fingers

what makes you want to wreck yourself

like when you tried to sleepwalk

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